Updated: Apr 9
I'm old enough to have come of age during the birth of feminism. It was a good time to be a girl, and it all seemed obvious to me. It was obvious that we were as smart, and capable, as any boy; But we weren't treated as well. In my family that meant the girls did all the housework, including bathrooms, toilets, floors throughout the house, and the boys cut the grass. The girls were beat, the boys not. Since the birth of Feminism and my own coming of age happened at the same time I guess I only thought about getting out of the house. Now that I have my own house I still clean the toilets, I don't have any kids to do it for me, but if I did they'd take turns. And what it means to me is that I know I will pay my own way, and I expect my husband to help with the house. (And he does). I support the ERA., and wish we could elect Elizabeth Warren, not because she's female, but because she's the smartest, most capable, person we have at hand.
Perhaps it's just too soon. The pendulum has swung too far. Now the avowed feminist is as likely to be suffering from the female equivalent of misogyny. Why ISN'T there a word for the casual hatred of men based purely on sex. It's the last frontier of bigotry.
I'm not that kind of feminist, and I don't believe in those that are. Can't you see when you behave that way you're playing in to the cultural manipulation that the very men who deserve your ire are trying to create? You're alienating women who aren't inclined to such a harsh and vicious approach. You're making feminists look bad.
#metoo I was raped 3 times. First time- attacked on the street, and dragged, at knife point, to a dark alley. I'd just read- if that happened to scream bloody murder, and I did. Cops came fast (stupidly the idiot did this right in from of the Berkley Police Station), and the 'act' wasn't completed. It still counts, for pure terror, and for changing me from a fearless, bold, girl, to a frightened woman. Second time a man broke into an apartment, where I was sleeping alone, climbed into my bed, choked me, and forced me onto the floor, at knife point, where he raped me. 3rd time was date rape. I tried to leave this guys house and he forced himself on me. So please don't throw that word around, if it's not actually rape please don't use it at all. It's so disrespectful to the women who've been through it.
I loved The Handmaid's Tale. A world where women are expected to keep silent reminded me of all the times I've been ignored, or talked over, because some blowhard dude is holding forth. I've been fortunate, though. My dad was very respectful of my intelligence. and always led me to believe I could do what I want. My husband is the same. I wish there was a word for men who have a particularly high regard for women.